The Ott Counseling Blog

How Do I Know Which Kind of Therapy Is Right for My Child? (And Meet Our New Specialist, Mary Gannon)

Wed, 03 Dec 2025 01:48:38 GMT

Just like there’s no “one perfect therapy” for adults, there isn’t a single right choice for every child.

The best therapeutic approach depends on your child’s temperament, the kind of support they need, your goals for their development, and how involved you’d like to be in the therapy process. At Ott Counseling, we believe parents deserve clear information about the approaches available—and children deserve therapy that honors their unique needs and strengths. Below is a parent-friendly overview of how relationships support child development, followed by an introduction to some of the most effective, evidence-based therapies that focus on connection, regulation, and emotional growth. We are also excited to announce that our newest staff therapist, Mary Gannon, M.Ed., LMSW, M.A. , is now accepting new clients and specializes in each of these approaches.

The human brain is built for connection. Research shows that the brain grows and organizes through relationships (Siegel & Bryson, 2012; Perry & Pollard, 1998) . For children to develop cognitive, social, language, emotional, and motor skills, they must feel safe—and that safety comes from attuned, supportive relationships (Perry & Pollard, 1998; Porges, 2015; Schore, 2001) . When a child feels safe, their nervous system is open to learning, cooperating, exploring, and playing (Delahooke, 2017) . In those moments, the brain forms new neural connections essential for growth (Siegel, 2010; Stern, 1995) . Parents and caregivers are at the center of this process. Children look to them first to regulate emotions, make sense of experiences, and learn how to relate to others (Shahmoon-Shanok, 2000) . Warm, responsive back-and-forth interactions—the foundation of secure attachment—help children develop trust, confidence, and emotional well-being (Siegel & Hartzell, 2014; Tronick, 2007) . Many child therapies are built on this research, using relationship-based work to strengthen secure attachment and build lifelong resilience.

Theraplay® is an evidence-based, interactive therapy designed to strengthen attachment between children and caregivers. It focuses on four qualities found in healthy relationships: structure, nurture, engagement, and challenge. Sessions include playful, meaningful, guided activities that deepen connection and attunement. Children often experience increased feelings of safety, improved emotional regulation, stronger social engagement, and healthier self-esteem and confidence. More information is available at https://theraplay.org/what-is-theraplay/ .

Nurture and Play (NaP) is another evidence-based, attachment-focused intervention that grew from Theraplay. It uses guided interactions, soothing activities, and reflective conversation to help parents tune into their child’s cues and respond sensitively. NaP helps parents and children strengthen reciprocal interactions, increase co-regulation and emotional connection, build early coping and self-regulation skills, and deepen bonding through attunement and responsiveness. More information is available at https://nurtureandplay.org/ .

DIR®/Floortime® is a comprehensive, evidence-based framework that helps caregivers understand a child’s unique developmental profile. It assesses developmental level, individual differences (such as sensory or communication styles), and relationship patterns that support growth. Through playful, child-led interactions, caregivers learn to follow their child’s lead, expand engagement, support flexible thinking, and strengthen emotional development. More information is available at https://www.icdl.com/dir .

Each child—and each family—is different. Some children thrive with relational, playful therapies like Theraplay or Nurture and Play. Others benefit most from the developmental and sensory insights of DIR Floortime. The right therapy is the one that helps your child feel safe, understood, and supported while strengthening the relationship between you and your child.

We are thrilled to welcome Mary Gannon, M.Ed., LMSW, M.A. , to Ott Counseling. Mary is a warm, authentic, highly trained clinician who specializes in the exact evidence-based methods described above—Theraplay, Nurture and Play, and DIR Floortime—as well as several additional child, family, and perinatal-focused therapies. Mary brings a rare blend of experience as a teacher, social worker, therapist, and parent. She believes in the power of connection and creates a safe, supportive space for children and families. Her work is grounded in empathy, inclusivity, collaboration, and authenticity. She supports infants and children, parents and caregivers, individuals considering parenthood, pregnant and postpartum individuals, and families navigating developmental, relational, or emotional challenges.

Mary holds advanced training, including completing her Ph.D. in Infant/Early Childhood Mental Health & Disorders with a DIR Floortime emphasis. She specializes in attachment-based therapies (Nurture and Play, Theraplay, DIR Floortime), parental and infant mental health, Child-Centered Play Therapy, Child-Parent Psychotherapy, CBT, DBT, and strengths-based, person-centered approaches. She brings a deep understanding of child development, sensory profiles, emotional needs, and parent–child relationships.

Mary’s schedule is now open for new clients , and we expect openings to fill quickly due to her specialized training and warm, relational style. If you're wondering which approach is best for your child—or if you feel your child would benefit from attachment-based or relationship-focused therapy—you can now schedule with Mary for an intake or consultation. Our team is here to help you and your child feel connected, supported, and understood.

Which Trauma Therapy Is Right for Me? A Breakdown of EMDR, Progressive Counting, & Brainspotting

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 13:57:54 GMT

As therapists, we know that healing from trauma isn’t one-size-fits-all… In fact, it’s a never ending journey that rarely fits into a perfect mold, and often opening one door so-to-speak opens three more.

Trauma comes in so many shapes, forms, and presentations, and only you know what kind of impact it is having on your life. For example, for one person, a difficult birth may not feel like a lasting trauma, but to another mother this experience may be debilitating for months and years to come. Whether you're processing a difficult birth, childhood experiences, or any life experience that has left a lasting emotional mark, the journey to healing is deeply personal - and therefore the tools that we use are always unique. If you’re searching for trauma therapy in Buffalo, you might come across terms like EMDR, Progressive Counting, or Brainspotting and wonder, What’s the difference? Which one is right for me?

We thought we’d break these down so you can feel more confident reaching out for the kind of therapy that may fit you best. However, it is important to know that depending on your situation, there may be additional “tools” that could also be helpful, and your therapist may also make other suggestions to help you on your journey!

EMDR: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing

According to the American Psychological Association , EMDR is among the top most effective psychotherapies for PTSD, and is often used in conjunction with other therapies to support clients with anxiety, depression, panic, distressing memories, birth trauma, and more. It is a thoroughly researched, evidence-based method that can help support our clients suffering from the lingering effects of trauma. During EMDR sessions, you are gently guided through your distressing memories while using bilateral stimulation, like guided eye movements or tapping, to help your brain reprocess and desensitize the emotional charge of those memories. What is unique about EMDR is that it doesn’t require in-depth retelling of your traumatic experience. Instead, it helps you process through your trauma by providing you with a tool for managing those memories.

Progressive Counting (PC)

Progressive Counting is frequently used in the treatment of PTSD, anxiety, grief, and repetitive traumas. During this therapy, you imagine a mental “movie” of the distressing memory. Each time you visualize the event, the therapist counts aloud (for example, for 10, 20, or 30 seconds…), increasing the length over time. This repetitive process helps the memory lose its emotional charge. We picture this therapy as slowly rewinding and replaying a moment until your brain can process it safely. One of the reasons clients love PC is that, as the Child Trauma Institute references, it’s often more efficient and easier to learn than other methods - and it gives you a clear sense of progress without having to verbally discuss your trauma in overwhelming detail. This can be a great option for traumas that are so distressing that it is hard to actually speak about them. This is also a therapy we believe in so much that we actually do a training on it for other therapists. If this is you, here is more info about our next upcoming Progressive Counting Training !

Brainspotting

Brainspotting is a body-based approach that works by identifying "brainspots" - specific eye positions that correspond to stored trauma in the brain. It is used in conjunction with other treatments for complex traumas, dissociation, anxiety, and deep emotional pain. Research out of the Mediterranean Journal of Clinical Psychology shows that Brainspotting achieves meaningful reductions in PTSD symptoms - making it a possible alternative to EMDR. Brainspotting can be used on its own or combined with other therapies like EMDR or Progressive Counting. It’s especially helpful for our clients who feel stuck or have tried talking therapy without lasting results.

So, Which One Is Right for Me?

There’s no wrong answer - and it’s likely that your therapist won’t just suggest a single option. Our therapists at Ott Counseling are trained in EMDR, Progressive Counting, Brainspotting, and numerous other therapies that will help you get the most out of your sessions and provide you with the tools to start managing your specific trauma. We work collaboratively with you to explore what feels safest to you, most effective, and aligned with your goals for therapy.

Want to meet the team? Click here to explore our office and learn more about our therapists.
Curious how EMDR can help after birth trauma? Read our recent blog on that here .

Ready to Start?

Whether you're new to therapy or exploring something new, we’re here to support you! Reach out today to schedule an appointment or get your questions answered, and let’s talk about what might be right for you.

You're Getting on My Nerves(ous) System

Fri, 01 Aug 2025 16:37:10 GMT

“It’s all in your head.”

Ah, yes, the least helpful advice ever given to anyone who has felt anxiety. If you’ve ever been told to “just don’t worry,” you know how ridiculous it sounds when your heart is racing, your stomach is in knots, and your thoughts are doing the Macarena at 2 a.m.

Here’s the thing: It’s not just in your head.

It’s in your nervous system .

Anxious thoughts flow through your body , firing up your nervous system and impacting your mind, body, and ability to do things like sleep, respond calmly to your kid asking the same question 45 times, or send that email you’ve been avoiding for days.

What happens when you have an anxious thought?

When something triggers your anxiety (a thought, memory, or a weird look from your boss), your autonomic nervous system kicks in. You might land in:

Hyperarousal (fight/flight): Racing heart, shallow breathing, tension, mind on high alert, jumpy or irritable.
Hypoarousal (freeze/shutdown): Numb, disconnected, tired, unable to think clearly, stuck in doom scroll mode.

Your polyvagal system (hi, Vagus nerve) is involved in how your body responds. It’s scanning for safety, threat, or life danger, influencing your body’s response before you even have time to think, “Why am I like this?”

What comes first: the thought or the feeling?

Short answer: it depends.

Sometimes a thought triggers the feeling (“What if I mess this up?” → anxiety).
Sometimes the body triggers the feeling before you know why (a smell, a tone of voice, a certain email notification sound → tension, then the anxious thought).

Your mind and body are in constant conversation, and anxiety likes to cut in.

Popular Triggers

Uncertainty (waiting for test results, a delayed text reply)
Conflict or potential conflict
Feeling misunderstood or rejected
Overwhelm from too many responsibilities
Flashbacks or trauma reminders
Perfectionist

Physical states like hunger, lack of sleep, or too much caffeine

How to respond: Get back to stability

You can’t always control what triggers your nervous system, but you can support it in getting back to safety:

1️⃣ TIPP Skills (from DBT):

T emperature: Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice cube.
I ntense exercise: 20 jumping jacks, a brisk walk, or shaking out your body.
P aced breathing: Inhale for 4, exhale for 6. Repeat.
P rogressive muscle relaxation: Tense, then release each muscle group.

These help your body reset when hyperarousal takes over.

2️⃣ Set effective boundaries

Your nervous system will thank you when you say no to things that drain you, pause before saying yes to new commitments, and protect your time and energy.
Boundary setting = giving your body permission to stay in a zone of safety.

3️⃣ Name it to tame it

Say to yourself:

“I am noticing anxiety.”
“My body is having a response right now.”

This reduces shame and helps you respond with compassion instead of judgment.

4️⃣ Ground in the present

Look around and name:

5 things you see
4 things you feel
3 things you hear
2 things you smell
1 thing you taste

Anxious thoughts live in the future. Your nervous system calms when you bring it back to now.

Final Thoughts

Your nervous system is not your enemy. It’s trying to keep you safe, but sometimes it overdoes it, like a smoke alarm going off when you toast bread.

You don’t have to “just stop worrying.”

You can support your body and mind to return to a place of safety and stability, even when life is stressful.

So the next time you feel anxiety buzzing through your system, remember:
It’s not just in your head.

But you can help your nervous system feel less under attack—and that’s where real change happens.

Nolite te Bastardes Carborundorum: Don’t Let the Bastards Get You Down – A beginner’s guide to coping in 2025, Part 1

Wed, 11 Jun 2025 16:02:38 GMT

Some of you may recognize the phrase above from Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale.

In it, she imagines a world where women are subjugated, divided, and pitted against one another. “Don’t let the bastards get you down” is a quiet act of resistance — words passed from one woman to another, a whisper of hope in an otherwise hopeless time.

I share those same words with you today — not as a slogan, but as a grounding reminder in what often feels like a very precarious time. Increasingly, The Handmaid’s Tale reads less like fiction and more like a cautionary tale we can see unfolding around us.

For many — especially Black, Indigenous, and other people of color; queer and trans folks; disabled people; and others from historically marginalized communities — threats to personal safety, health, and autonomy are not new. There is a long, powerful legacy of resistance, survival, and brilliance from these communities — stories that continue to teach us how to adapt, push back, and thrive.

But in 2025, the sheer volume of compounding crises feels like something new altogether. Environmental disasters — wildfires, floods, heat domes, blizzards, and droughts — now coincide with political instability, widespread economic insecurity, and the unraveling of hard-won rights. Access to safe reproductive healthcare is being rolled back. Trans rights are under legislative attack. Housing and food costs have skyrocketed. A global pandemic restructured daily life, and now we’re keeping cautious eyes on the spread of H5N1 (yes, the bird flu — if you haven’t read about it yet, it’s worth your attention, unfortunately).

So we adapt. We scroll our phones and try to make sense of the headlines that impact us and those we love. We go to the gym, the grocery store, the park, trying to preserve normalcy. But the tension is there — a hum in the background of modern life. We feel it in our bodies, in our relationships, in our mental health.

And so, let me say this clearly:
It is normal to feel terrible when things are terrible.
It is healthy to cry, scream, shut down, or rage.
It is human to feel overwhelmed in overwhelming times.

We are, as the saying goes, living through unprecedented times. And unprecedented times call for new ways of coping, connecting, and caring. We need community more than ever — with our neighbors, coworkers, friends, families, and even those whose lives look nothing like ours. The truth is, we belong to each other. And despite everything, that’s still something to hold onto.

This world is still beautiful. Still vibrant. Still worth fighting for. I’ve spent over a decade as a landscape designer and ecologist, and as a lifelong environmentalist, I feel the stakes acutely — for people, animals, ecosystems, and future generations. But I also feel the possibility .

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing some of the ways I stay grounded, take action, and return to joy — even in the middle of the chaos. Step one? Find the people who lift you up. The ones who remind you of your strength, your values, your inherent worth. Resist the temptation to isolate. Resist despair. And above all, resist forgetting how good humanity can be when we show up for each other.

Until next time.

Healing Trauma from Difficult Birth Experiences with the Help of Trauma Therapy

Tue, 20 May 2025 18:12:15 GMT

Am I the Only One?

Seven years ago, during my first pregnancy and birth, I found myself questioning everything—my instincts, my body, even my sense of reality. I had spent months enduring hyperemesis gravidarum, barely holding myself together, hoping that the suffering would all be worth it once my daughter was in my arms.

She survived. So did I. But what happened in the hours and weeks surrounding her birth left deep marks. It took time, therapy, and the healing that came from a very different second birth to get me to a place where I could write about this without shutting down.

Far From Natural

My labor began suddenly—my water broke, and meconium was present. She was full-term, 39 weeks, but the presence of meconium triggered concern. I tried to stay calm, convincing myself everything would be okay.

When my daughter was born, she made a soft humming noise with each breath. I mentioned it to the doctor, who smiled and said, “That’s cute.” It wasn’t. It was pneumonia—already progressing toward sepsis.

Still, I felt an initial wave of relief. The kind of exhausted, emotional release that comes after months of physical suffering. I believed the hardest part was over.

We were transferred to the mother-baby unit as though all was well. She was taken for what we were told was routine testing, and we waited for her to be brought back. But she didn’t return.

We kept asking when we’d get her back. Eventually, a nurse came in and casually said, “She’s in the NICU,” as if it was something we already knew. We didn’t. No one had told us. No one explained what was happening.

I sat in the postpartum room, dazed—my body in pain, still bleeding heavily, my baby missing, and no answers. I remember thinking: This is motherhood? Am I already failing?

Later we learned she had developed pneumonia and sepsis from meconium aspiration. At one week old, she required a spinal tap. She stayed in the NICU for weeks.

Postpartum PTSD Is Real

People around me focused on the relief—“She’s okay now.” “Everything turned out fine.” And I smiled along. But inside, I was unraveling.

I couldn’t stop scanning for danger. I had intrusive thoughts and a constant undercurrent of fear. I triple-checked everything—bottles, breathing, sleep positions—as if missing a detail might lead to disaster.

This wasn’t just anxiety. It was postpartum PTSD .

Studies show that 3–6% of mothers experience postpartum PTSD, with numbers significantly higher in those who face birth complications or NICU stays. But it’s often overlooked. People assume that if the baby is healthy, the trauma shouldn’t exist. But trauma and gratitude are not mutually exclusive.

Forgotten in the Middle of Crisis

Once my daughter was admitted to the NICU, my own care felt like an afterthought. I was in physical pain, still bleeding heavily, but not offered medication or checked on in meaningful ways. I was a new mother recovering from childbirth, trying to learn how to pump, navigate visitation rules, and comprehend medical updates—all while trying to stay upright.

At one point, a nurse asked if I wanted to change her diaper. I looked at my daughter—tiny, fragile, tangled in tubes—and said I was afraid. The nurse responded, “I’ll do it this time, but plan on figuring it out for the next change.”

It was one of many moments that left me feeling ashamed, inadequate, and utterly alone.

I also remember the comments meant to comfort but that only deepened my isolation:

“Praise God she’s okay.”

“God has a plan.”

“When will you be home?”

“When can I see her?”

I know those words came from a well-meaning place, but they didn’t leave room for what I was feeling, physically or emotionally. They bypassed the pain.

The Second Time Was Different

Seven years later, I had another difficult pregnancy. But the birth experience? It couldn’t have been more different.

My second daughter was born silent and purple, coiled tightly in the umbilical cord. Her APGAR score at one minute was 2. It was terrifying. Time froze.

But this time, I didn’t feel alone.

My husband and I had spoken to the staff ahead of time. We told them about our previous experience—what had hurt, what we needed, what would help us feel safe. And they listened. They communicated clearly. They stayed present. And because of that, I felt supported even during one of the scariest moments of my life.

That birth was still intense—but not traumatic. Support made the difference.

What Helped Me Heal

Therapy gave me space to process what I had buried. Trauma-informed approaches like progressive counting , brainspotting , and ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) helped me find my footing again—emotionally, mentally, even physically.

I also gave myself permission to tell the truth of what I went through. To name it as trauma. And to stop comparing it to someone else’s story in order to justify my pain.

If You're Carrying Trauma, Too

If you’ve lived through birth trauma or NICU experiences, please know: you are not broken. You are not weak. And you are not alone.

You’re not overreacting. You’re a mother who went through something real. And healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning how to carry your story with gentleness instead of shame.

You can be grateful and still grieve what you lost. You can love your child and still struggle with how they came into the world. Both can be true.

And if you’re here—reading this—you’re already doing the hard, brave work of healing. Keep going.

Pictured: How it Started

Pictured: How it's Going

Let’s Talk Progressive Counting – Supporting Trauma with Practical Tools

Thu, 17 Apr 2025 00:51:12 GMT

As mental health counselors, we know that healing from trauma never follows a straight line. It’s deeply personal, and often messy, but always brave. It can be hard to come up to the surface to take a breath and ask for help.

If you're navigating the emotional aftermath of trauma, we want you to know that you're not alone - and that help is available in ways that are both practical and effective. One approach we offer at Ott Counseling is called Progressive Counting , and for many of our clients, it’s become a meaningful part of their journey in healing wounds, new and old.

What Is Progressive Counting?

Progressive Counting (PC) is a structured, research-informed method of addressing and resolving traumatic memories. It was originally developed by Dr. Ricky Greenwald, founder of The Trauma Institute and Child Trauma Institute , and has been used around the world by mental health professionals and counselors to support individuals in safely processing difficult experiences.

PC involves a licensed therapist guiding the client through imagining a “movie” of a specific distressing memory while the therapist counts aloud - starting small (like 1 to 10), and gradually increasing. As the client progresses through the memory, the emotional intensity usually decreases. This continues until the memory no longer feels emotionally overwhelming. This type of therapy is often done over multiple sessions, as healing from a trauma that has impacted you for a long time, we can’t expect it to just be resolved in an hour appointment. Progressive Counting is often done in phases, appointments can often involve several therapies, and healing from anything is a process and not simply an event.

What makes Progressive Counting unique is that it doesn’t require someone to talk in detail about their trauma if they don’t want to. It allows the brain to do what it’s wired to do - heal.

Why We Love Progressive Counting at Ott Counseling

We’ve seen firsthand how Progressive Counting can create real shifts in our clients’ lives. It’s especially helpful for those who may have tried other therapies and still feel “stuck.”

This approach is often used to treat:

PTSD and complex trauma
Grief and loss
Childhood emotional wounds and traumas
Anxiety related to specific life events

According to the California Evidence-Based Clearinghouse , Progressive Counting is considered a promising practice in treating trauma, with growing research to support its use across age groups - young children and adults alike.

Progressive Counting is also a great fit for clients who may not be ready to actually talk to someone about their trauma. Unlike traditional talking therapy, PC doesn't require someone to rehash the hardest moments of their life out loud. It helps to meet people where they are, while still offering an effective treatment option that can help with their specific traumas.

What a PC Session Looks Like

If you're considering Progressive Counting at our Buffalo office, here’s a little insight into what to expect:

Building a foundation – Your therapist will spend time helping you feel safe and getting to know you. We never dive into trauma work without first making sure you are comfortable and have strong coping tools in place.
Mapping things out – You and your therapist will work together to identify what you’d like to process. You always have a say in the pace and focus.
Progressive Counting begins – Through visualization and counting, your therapist will guide you through the memory in a way that promotes healing without overwhelming you.
Aftercare and reflection – We’ll help you decompress and process anything that came up, and discuss next steps.
A comprehensive therapy plan - We don’t always use Progressive Counting in isolation - Depending on your concerns and experiences, we always help support you with the approaches that make the most sense, and often there are a handful.

Want to learn more about how trauma therapy works overall? You can learn more about our different therapy options right on our website , which we often use in conjunction with each other depending on each person’s needs.

Are you a therapist or grad student looking to learn more about this therapy option? Make sure to check out our upcoming Progressive Counting Training , which will be offered later this year entirely online!

You Don’t Have to Handle Your Trauma Alone

At Ott Counseling, we’re proud to offer therapy that is trauma-informed. We serve clients from all walks of life across Buffalo, Cheektowaga, and the Western New York area. Our team is here to help you feel safe, supported, and empowered. If you’re curious about whether Progressive Counting could be right for you or a loved one, Contact Us when you’re ready. Whether your trauma stems from a single event or a lifetime of experiences, you deserve healing - and someone who will listen and genuinely support you through that process.

New to Therapy? Here's what to Expect in your First Session

Thu, 27 Mar 2025 18:40:31 GMT

So, you’ve had some life events & obstacles that have come your way, and you’re thinking you might need some extra support. Thinking about therapy?

If this is you, you probably have a million questions going through your head about what the process is like, what an appointment is like, and what actually happens. If you’ve never been to therapy before, your idea of therapy might be thinking of Neil from ‘The Santa Clause’ constantly asking his step-son Charlie “How does that make you feel?” Well… at least at Ott Counseling, and probably many other therapists’ offices, this is not very accurate. We understand that starting therapy can bring up feelings of uncertainty, and that while stigma surrounding going to therapy is dwindling, you may still have concerns. Knowing what to expect in your first session can help ease these feelings and set the foundation for a meaningful therapeutic journey. So, what exactly happens in your first counseling session at Ott Counseling? We are so glad you asked!

Before Your Session: Preparation and Paperwork

Prior to your first appointment, you may be asked to complete some initial paperwork. This often includes providing personal information, medical history, and any current medications. All of this information is kept completely confidential and allows your therapist to understand your background and tailor the session to your needs. You can come to our office in Cheektowaga a few minutes before your appointment to complete this info, or we can also help you access it securely right through our client portal so you can get it taken care of ahead of time. Either way, we take your medical history seriously, and want to know as much as we can about you. This helps us provide the proper therapies, look at your whole picture, and make the best recommendations for your mental and overall wellbeing.

Starting the Conversation: Building a Connection

Your first therapy session is an opportunity to start building a connection with your therapist. This is always a safe space for you to share your story, but there's no pressure to disclose everything immediately. Each session is time limited, and this is for a good reason - Often many of the things that we talk about take a while to digest, and going through too much in one session often isn’t as effective towards making progress with what you’re going through. There’s no need to rush - All great things take time. Progress takes time. We want to work with you piece by piece and help you build the skills to manage all of the obstacles that life throws at you.

Discussing Your Background: Understanding Your Story

To gain a comprehensive understanding of your situation, your therapist may ask about various aspects of your life, such as:

Current Concerns: What brings you to therapy at this time?
Personal History: Information about your upbringing, relationships, and significant life events.
Mental Health History: Any previous experiences with mental health issues or therapy.
Coping Mechanisms: How you’ve managed stress or challenges in the past.

These discussions help your therapist understand your unique context and how best to support your challenges, and most importantly help you build skills that will support you in the future.

Setting Goals: Collaborating on Your Path Forward

Together, you and your therapist will identify goals for your therapy. Whether it's managing anxiety, improving relationships, or dealing with postpartum depression, setting clear objectives provides direction and purpose for your sessions. It also helps us stay on track and guide you when life takes us off in a direction other than the one we intended. As they say, “an arrow without a target misses 100% of the time”.

Addressing Questions and Concerns: Open Communication

It's natural to have questions or uncertainties about therapy. Additionally, not every therapist is a fit for every client! Your therapist is there to address any concerns you may have, such as the methods used, the frequency of sessions, or what progress might look like. Open communication fosters a trusting and effective therapeutic relationship. One of the wonderful aspects of Ott Counseling is that we offer multiple mental health counselors with a variety of backgrounds and specialties. We all work together as a team - If for any reason a therapist doesn’t quite seem like a fit for what you’re going through, let us know! We want you to succeed, and are always happy to set up a consultation with a different therapist that you think may be a better fit for you.

We're Here for You: Supporting the greater Buffalo Community and clients in New York State via telehealth

Therapy is a collaborative process. Your active participation and honesty, just as much as ours, are vital components of your progress. It's okay to feel a mix of emotions during and after your sessions; this is all part of the journey. Our practice is committed to personalized mental health counseling to individuals in Buffalo, Cheektowaga, and all of Western New York. Our New York State licensed clinicians are also able to support clients throughout New York via telehealth. We strive to create a supportive and judgement-free environment where you can feel heard, understood, and empowered to make positive changes. Embarking into therapy can seem daunting, but it doesn’t have to be with the right team to support you! If you're ready to begin, or if you have further questions about the process, please don't hesitate to reach out to us . We are here for you every step of the way!

Here at Ott Counseling, we believe that inclusion & accessibility are at the center of everything. We welcome clients from all walks of life, regardless of age, race, culture, creed or lgbtq+ status. Here, you matter.

New Progressive Counting Training Scheduled to Start in October!

Wed, 19 Feb 2025 20:30:23 GMT

Join Our Progressive Counting Training Schedule For This Fall: A Live, Interactive Experience

Are you a mental health professional looking to expand your trauma-informed care toolkit? We are excited to announce the upcoming Progressive Counting Training, an innovative and evidence-based approach to resolving trauma and loss. This live online, interactive training is scheduled from October 2025 through March 2026, offering mental health counselors and therapists a chance to learn from experienced trainers and gain practical tools they can immediately apply to their practice. We are excited to announce that our very own Laura Ott, LCSW, PMH-C, will be one of the assisting trainers for this course!

Before we go into more details, make sure you Download This Brochure which gives all the details you need to know about this upcoming training and how to register!

What Is Progressive Counting?

Progressive Counting (PC) is a psychotherapy technique designed to help clients resolve trauma and loss memories through a unique process of reconsolidating memories. This highly effective method guides clients to imagine a movie of their distressing memory while the therapist counts progressively. Over time, clients have been found to experience reduced distress until the memory no longer triggers negative emotions.

PC is:

Is considered easier to learn compared to other trauma-focused therapies.
Effective and efficient for clients of all ages, from children to adults.
Cost-effective for both clients and therapists, and supported by research as an evidence-based practice.

Learn more about the method and its applications

on our website .

Key Details of the Training

Dates: October 22, 2025 – March 19, 2026
Format: Live Online via Zoom
Trainers:

Nicole Wolasz, LCSW-R

Nicole is a seasoned Progressive Counting trainer with over 25 years of experience working alongside Dr. Ricky Greenwald, the developer of PC.

Annie J. Monaco, LCSW-R, RPT
Annie is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, as well as a Registered Play Therapist. She is a faculty member of the Trauma Institute and Child Trauma Institute and specializes in EMDR, attachment, and dissociation.

Laura Ott, LCSW, PMH-C
Laura is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker specializing in perinatal mental health, Progressive Counting, and EMDR.

Lori Chiarmonte, LCSW
Lori is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and is a Clinical Supervisor at an outpatient mental health clinic in Buffalo, NY. She holds certifications in both Progressive Counting and EMDR.

Continuing Education Credits: All modules must be attended to receive 30 CE credits (12 EMDRIA CE credits for EMDR-trained therapists).

Modules include foundational concepts like attachment theory, dissociation, and the Flash Technique, along with hands-on learning through case formulation and real-world applications of Progressive Counting.

Why Should Therapists Attend This Training?

Expand Your Skills: Progressive Counting equips therapists with an effective, easy-to-learn trauma resolution method that complements other therapeutic approaches like EMDR.
Work Toward Certification: Completion of this course counts toward PC certification, with low-cost consultation groups available afterward.
Expert Instruction: Learn from Nicole Wolasz, who brings decades of experience in trauma-informed care and training.

Make sure to check out some of the testimonials on our Training page to see the impact this training has on Attendees!

Who Should Attend?

This course is designed for mental health professionals (or advanced graduate students) with an active therapy caseload. It is ideal for therapists working with clients who are a variety of ages, both in individual or group settings.

How to Register

Early Bird Registration: $850 if paid by September 1, 2025
Standard Registration: $899 after September 1, 2025
Special Rate for EMDR Therapists trained through the Trauma Institute: $575

The final registration deadline is September 20, 2025 . Materials, including a textbook and binder with scripted interventions, will be mailed to participants ahead of the training.

Complete This Form to reserve your spot today!

Learn More

You can learn more about Progressive Counting and this training right on the Trauma Institute Website ! Also make sure that you Download Our Training Brochure for all of the details for this upcoming training. Space is limited, so make sure to register ASAP! We look forward to seeing you there!

The Partner Perspective: Supporting Perinatal & Postpartum Mental Health

Fri, 24 Jan 2025 15:01:43 GMT

Here at Ott Counseling, supporting Buffalo families is what we do and what we’re most passionate about.

And, while as therapists in the perinatal mental health field we often focus on birthing parents, their partners are invaluable in the process of building a family and supporting the birthing parent and their family when they need it most! Becoming a parent is life-changing, not only for the person giving birth but for you, their partner, too. It’s an exciting, exhausting, and often overwhelming time, filled with both joy and immense challenges. As a partner, your support is crucial to your loved one’s emotional well-being during the postpartum period. But, how do you do that? We’re here to give you a few of our best tips on how to show up for your partner in meaningful ways during pregnancy and birth.

Understanding Perinatal and Postpartum Mental Health

Pregnancy and parenthood can feel like a whirlwind of emotions, both for a birthing parent and their partner. The perinatal period - which includes pregnancy and the year following birth - is a time of tremendous change. There’s joy, hope, and excitement, but there’s also exhaustion, anxiety, and sadness. There are highs and lows as a birthing parent’s body slowly adapts to the drastic changes that come with a delivery, whether vaginal or c-section, as well as in the weeks and months following birth. This includes massive shifts in hormones. A birthing parent’s body may not physically ever return to the way it was pre-pregnancy, and this is a hard reality for many birthing parents, particularly as society encourages parents “bounce back” to their pre-pregnancy bodies. For many more there may be ongoing physical and emotional health struggles that must be addressed while also adjusting to a new family member. The postpartum phase adds its own set of challenges, from sleep deprivation to navigating a new family dynamic.

For many parents, pregnancy and postpartum can feel like an uphill battle ( make sure to check out our recent blog post on hyperemesis gravidarum ) . According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) , 1 in 5 women and 1 in 10 men may experience depression or anxiety during the perinatal period. You may experience perinatal anxiety independently, but it is often combined with perinatal depression. High-stress parenting groups experience perinatal anxiety at a higher rate. The good news? As a partner, you are not helpless. You can lighten the emotional and physical load and play an invaluable role for your family.

How You Can Support Your Partner

But, how does a partner do that? After all, you may be pretty sleep deprived at this point yourself, and may also be facing your own challenges, possibly with balancing a return to work or caring for other children or family members. Here are a few things that you can add to our checklist that won’t add too much to your plate, but can make a world of difference.

Get Curious
Spend a little time on Google or ChatGPT learning about perinatal and postpartum mental health challenges, like depression or anxiety, so you can better understand what your partner may be experiencing. Postpartum Support International (PSI) is also a fantastic resource with tools specifically for partners.
Be Fully Present
Your partner doesn’t need you to have all the answers - sometimes, they just need you to be there. Ask how they’re feeling, and listen without judgment or trying to “fix” things (we know, sometimes this is easier said than done!) But, a simple “I hear you, and I’m here for you” can go a long way to opening the door to positive communication.
Share the Load
Parenting is a team effort, and sharing tasks like feeding, diaper changes, and household chores shows your partner that you’re in this together. It really is the little things, like sometimes being the first to hop out of bed in the middle of the night if the baby is crying, or brewing a fresh pot of coffee in the morning after a long night, that can make a really big difference.
Encourage Rest
Sleep is everything! Take over baby duties for a while so your partner can nap, read, or just enjoy a few quiet moments to themselves. Be aware of each other’s mental health and encourage your partner to communicate with you when they need a break. Sometimes just giving them the opportunity to take a break without having to ask you can be a huge relief also.
Be Open to Therapy
Sometimes, professional support is needed, and the postpartum period can be one of those times. That’s okay! Therapists can provide practical tools to manage stress, process emotions, and navigate challenges together. If this sounds like something you want to learn more about you can always visit our Office page to learn more about our therapists and the specialties they offer, including perinatal mental health, trauma, internal family systems and much more.

Top Tips From Our Therapists

Here’s what our team of mental health counselors recommends for partners looking to be the best support system possible:

Celebrate the Little Things: Parenthood is so hard! So, celebrate the small wins and make sure to embrace your companionship on this huge journey - whether it’s making it through a tough night or finding time to laugh together.
Communicate Regularly: Communication is the cornerstone to any successful relationship, and that doesn’t change when a baby comes into the mix (in fact, it may be more important than ever! Check in with your partner daily to ask how they’re feeling and how you can help. Even if there isn’t anything right off the bat to help with, the gesture is still meaningful.
Take Care of Yourself Too: Supporting someone else is easier when you’re also caring for your own emotional well-being. Make sure to communicate with your partner how you are feeling, just as you are asking them how they are doing. And most importantly, don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you need it.
Have Boundaries, a Schedule, and Communicate Often: What are the expectations while at the hospital? What about during the first few weeks? Visitors? Who is getting up at 3am? Washing bottles? Caring for other children? Doing household chores? As a partner, you can help communicate the boundaries you have set for your home during this delicate time.

A Few of Our Favorite Partner Resources

If you’re looking for more guidance, these trusted resources can help:

Postpartum Support International (PSI) : Offers resources, support, and information tailored for partners.
National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) : Provides insights into perinatal and postpartum mental health.
The Gottman Institute : Focuses on building strong relationships and navigating parenthood as a team.

Learn More

Partners, your support during the perinatal and postpartum periods is more important than you can imagine. And, if you or your partner could use some extra help, we’re here for you. Reach out anytime - Parenthood is an ongoing and constantly adapting journey, and you’re not alone. Remember, by showing up with lots of love, patience, and understanding, you’re not only supporting your partner but also laying the foundation for a stronger, healthier family.

Surviving and Healing: A Therapist’s Second Battle with Hyperemesis Gravidarum

Fri, 10 Jan 2025 01:58:21 GMT

This is a story of survival, resilience, and healing after Hyperemesis Gravidarum.

Trigger Warning: Pregnancy, medical neglect, medical trauma, mental health struggles (including suicidal thoughts), vivid descriptions of illness, descriptions of nausea, parenting challenges, PTSD, and abortion statistics.

Sharing my personal story isn’t something I’ve ever been good at. As a therapist, I’m used to holding space for others, not the other way around. But as a perinatal therapist and two-time survivor of Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG), I feel a pull to share the raw, messy truth - because HG left me with scars that still ache. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that pain doesn’t heal in silence.
Pregnancy is a deeply personal journey, and people struggle in different ways. Some struggle to get pregnant, others to stay pregnant, and for some, the fight is simply to survive pregnancy. I am one of those who struggles to survive.

Pictured: One of the many visits from in home nursing to change my IV placement.

Pregnancy is so often wrapped up in dreamy, glowing images. People gush about the cravings, the kicks, the magical bond. But for some of us, pregnancy is a war zone. For me, it was HG: an unrelenting thief that robbed me of food, comfort, joy, and even hope.
HG isn’t morning sickness. It’s not something that crackers or ginger tea can magically fix. It’s a monster. It’s being so sick you can’t hold down water while everyone around you insists you’re glowing. It’s vomiting so much your body feels like it’s collapsing in on itself. It’s questioning how much longer you can survive—and if it’s worth it to try.
This wasn’t my first HG battle. I’d been here before, during my first pregnancy. I swore it would never happen again. After five years of healing, therapy, changing providers, and trying to feel like myself again, I decided I was ready to risk it. But HG doesn’t care about your preparation.

Pregnancy: The Glow I Never Got.

Pictured: Another day, another trip to the hospital.

I knew the stats: Hyperemesis Gravidarum recurs in up to 70% of pregnancies. I prayed I’d fall into the lucky 30% who escape its return, but I knew in my gut I wouldn't be. I prepared for the worst, and I was right to. From days before my missed period until the day I delivered, HG was back, louder and crueler than before. I lost over 50 pounds—not from dieting, but because my body rejected food with a tragic efficiency. Vomiting became my daily reality. Not once or twice a day, but once or twice an hour, sometimes more. There were only two days in my entire pregnancy that I didn’t vomit multiple times.
I was going to the hospital so often for fluids that I couldn’t bear it anymore. Even though my medical records showed significant weight loss, and my labs revealed clear signs of starvation and severe dehydration, I felt dismissed. I didn’t look like skin and bones, so my condition was often minimized. Sitting in the ER for hours, repeating the same story to skeptical staff, became too much. Eventually, I advocated for home nursing. It was a relief but also a stark reminder of how desperate my situation had become. From there, my living room became my small hospital, with my coffee table covered in infusion supplies. Syringes, IV catheters, gloves, bags of fluids, and Zofran…so much Zofran.

Fighting HG - Again.

Pictured: My in-home hospital setup.

After weeks of daily or near-daily IV catheter placements, I ran out of usable veins. My arms and hands were constantly covered in bruises. My IV sites began to reject, and my veins became so inflamed that fluids would infiltrate my tissue as the catheter would slip out of my vein. The pain of fluids pumping into my tissue felt fiery, radiating through my arm. Even worse, the meds weren't getting where they needed to go. I would call the home care on call and they would ask, can this wait until business hours? I felt guilty saying no. The PICC line became a necessity—both a relief and a sobering acknowledgment of the severity of my battle.

The PICC Line: "Can This Wait Until Business Hours?"

Pictured: Often clearing and capping my IV lines on the go.

I want to tell you about the moments people don’t talk about—the ones I hate to admit. Like sitting on the bathroom floor sobbing, too weak to stand, cramping from vomiting the nothing left in my stomach. I’d glance at my phone to see the time, knowing I had to pull myself together, get my daughter ready for school, and be present with clients for nine hours.
I carried my infusion pump with me for 12 hours a day. The incessant beeping when the line got pinched or the bag ran out became background noise. The weight of the pump was a constant reminder of my body’s betrayal—a tether to my illness I couldn’t escape.
(Pro tip: Get hospital-grade puke bags. I kept them in my office, car, and home. HG doesn’t wait for convenience.)

The Hardest Moments

Pictured: Everything made me vomit. Textures, smells, foods... My husband was often the recipient of my texts venting about my most recent struggle.

HG doesn’t just break your body; it takes over your mind. The thoughts I had scared me:
“I deserve this for thinking I was strong enough”
“I’m failing my baby before she even arrives.”
“I am stupid to think I could do this again.”
“The universe doesn’t want me to be a mom. I'm not meant for this.”
HG can feel impossible to endure. Nearly 5% of women terminate wanted pregnancies, and over half consider it. Statistics show that 25.5% of HG sufferers experience suicidal thoughts. I’ve been one of those women. The desperation and hopelessness are suffocating.
As a therapist, I know how powerful it can be for perinatal clients to feel seen. Sharing these struggles isn’t just about me; it’s about giving others permission to be honest about their own battles.

The Mental Toll

Pictured: Another ER visit.

Therapy : My lifeline. A space to cry, rage, and just be. Even if it's just a quick teletherapy call this can be so helpful when you need it the most.
Community : Online HG support groups reminded me I wasn’t alone. The HER foundation is also chock-full of resources and information on Hyperemesis Gravidarum, so if this is something you are experiencing yourself, or a loved one is experiencing, it is worth checking out.
Small Wins : Finishing half a smoothie before vomiting? A victory.
Self Advocacy : I demanded better care in spaces that minimized my suffering.
Compassion : I reminded myself, “You’re doing your best, and that’s enough.”

The Things That Kept Me Going

Pictured: When I arrived at the hospital for my induction hoping the end was in sight.

Now that I’m postpartum, I’m rebuilding. Society celebrates my smaller body, but I don’t. Pre-pregnancy, I felt strong. Now, I feel weak and exhausted.
I stopped pumping and breastfeeding after six weeks—a decision made out of self-care and necessity. I needed my body to feel like mine again, free from the machines and exhaustion that defined my pregnancy. That choice has helped me reclaim my body, slowly but surely.
The trauma of HG doesn’t disappear after delivery. It lingers, sneaking into quiet moments. But I’m learning to honor what I survived and give myself the space to heal.

Postpartum: Picking Up the Pieces.

Pictured: Enjoying my girls, whose pregnancies brought me immense suffering but whose existence brings me irreplaceable joy.

If you’re battling HG or simply trying to survive whatever journey you’re on, hear this:
You are not weak.

You are not failing.

You are surviving something unimaginably hard.
This journey isn’t easy, and it doesn’t magically end when your baby arrives. HG takes so much, but it doesn’t take everything. Even when it feels impossible and neverending, there is hope.
As I hold my baby, I see the light I fought for. While I wouldn’t wish HG on anyone, I’m proud of the warrior I’ve become. And my hope is that you know you are worth advocating for.

To the Ones in the Trenches

Ott Counseling is a mental health counseling office located in Cheektowaga New York. We have several therapists who specialize in perinatal and postpartum mental health, perhaps out of an abundance of awareness of how pregnancy, birth, and postpartum impact the mental wellbeing of women and their families. We offer both teletherapy and in-person appointments for clients in Western New York and New York State suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum, as well as a termination of a desired pregnancy due to complications with HG. We are here to give you a couch to cry on, and are more than happy to lend you a barf bag, or pause our session to help you run to the restroom for the quick in-session vomit whenever necessary! Please Call Us or Contact Us through our website for more information on support options, and make sure you check out the HER Foundation for more Hyperemesis Gravidarum resources and information!

The Mental Health Insights You've Been Looking For: Welcome to the Ott Counseling Blog!

Sat, 28 Dec 2024 21:14:52 GMT

Welcome to the Ott Counseling Blog!

We are so excited to have you join us as we dig deeper into the many components of mental health we see. At Ott Counseling, we are committed to providing compassionate, inclusive care to individuals and families in Buffalo and the Western New York area. And to be honest? We wanted to be able to reach more people. Through this blog, we aim to share our best insights, resources, and practical tools to support you on your journey to mental wellness.

What to Expect From Us

Over the coming months, we plan to dive into lots of topics that touch on common challenges, triumphs, and complexities of mental health. Whether you’re a new parent navigating postpartum depression, someone seeking support for anxiety, or a family looking to build stronger connections, there will be something here for everyone!

Here’s a sneak peek at some of the topics we’ll be covering:

Recognizing the signs of postpartum depression and perinatal anxiety
How therapy can support emotional well-being during pregnancy and beyond
Practical strategies for managing stress and strengthening relationships
Exploring evidence-based therapies like EMDR, DBT, and Progressive Counting
Understanding trauma recovery and its impact on mental health

Our goal is to provide you with a safe space to learn, reflect, and connect with resources that empower you to take the next step in your mental health journey, as well as access to us to answer your questions or discuss things further.

Why Start a Blog?

In Buffalo, across Western New York, and beyond, mental health care remains a critical need. With rising rates of stress, anxiety, and depression, it’s more important than ever to foster conversations around mental health in our communities and increase access to quality care. Through this blog, we hope to shine a light on important mental health topics and contribute to building a healthier, more informed community. We want to be a part of making information readily accessible to those who need it, especially if they perhaps aren’t ready to take the first step or need help recognizing that counseling may be their best next step.

Additionally, mental health challenges, particularly during and after pregnancy, are more common than many people realize. According to the American Psychological Association (APA) , up to 1 in 7 women experience postpartum depression, and perinatal anxiety often goes unrecognized or untreated. For new parents, the demands of caring for a child can make it difficult to prioritize their own mental health.

At Ott Counseling, we believe in breaking the stigma around these issues and offering support to not only mothers but also their partners and families. Our team is trained in therapies like EMDR and mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) to help individuals process trauma, reduce anxiety, and regain balance in their lives. We hope to discuss important topics surrounding perinatal and postpartum mental health to better support this community, and provide them with tools that can make such a profound difference in theirs and their families’ lives.

Explore More

While you’re here, we invite you to check out our website to learn more about our services, including Progressive Counting , Dialectical Behavior Therapy , Internal Family Systems and more. You can also check out our team of licensed mental health counselors , each with unique expertise and dedicated to providing personalized, inclusive care.

We’re here to support you, wherever you are on your journey. Feel free to reach out with questions or to schedule a consultation - We’d love to hear from you!

Thank you for visiting, and we hope you’ll continue to follow along!